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Alia Joy

a student of grace, seeking wonder, becoming fluent in the language of hope

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When Your Life Seems to Be Going in Circles: An (in)courage Post

August 12, 2016 By Alia Joy

08122016_AliaJoy_InwardExpansionIf you’ve ever felt like you are going in circles, in cycles, in seasons, it’s because you are. We live a life of rhythms. Day easing its burdens into the cool dark of night, sun slipping lazily in the sky. And darkness giving way to dawn break and the rising hope of new mornings.

Our growth isn’t linear, it’s circular.

It bends back on itself and overlaps in loops and swirls and curves. We aren’t marching forward on a timeline so much as we’re adding rings to our core like aged oak, firming up roots, breaking bark raw like shedding skins, limbs reaching and stretching and yearning for light.

There are droughts and rings like slivers, scratching out our captivity like hash marks on a prisoner’s wall. There are monsoons when we soak up the earth and we drink so deeply and everything expands.

Children dance in soppy wet puddles and you see a bit of miracle in the aftermath when the storm clouds tuck themselves back into bright blue skies, because you’re still standing. The sun comes back out and people find you because you provide shade and a soft place to escape the scorch and blister of the growing years.

And then there are our ordinary days and those make you doubt growth the most. Because the world expects you to grow forward, march down a timeline. Do more, be more, have more.

You have traded in your beater car for an SUV, your one-bedroom apartment and a roommate for a four-bedroom house with walk-in closets situated in a nice neighborhood with good schools. We are a culture of upgrades, always moving forward, moving upward.

But God is not about upward mobility so much as inward expansion. God’s Kingdom lives in the ever widening rings, the core and the hollows. God’s Kingdom growth mostly happens on ordinary days.

Continue Reading at (in)courage

*Sections of this post were first featured on this blog as part 4 part of a 4 part series.  

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Filed Under: Love Letters, Mental Illness, Relationship, Story, Suffering Tagged With: Faith

Previous Post: « What Mental Illness Taught Me About Mindfulness
Next Post: How to Survive the Seasons »

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Hi, I’m Alia Joy

INFJ and Enneagram 4w5…so it’s complicated. Wife and mom, coffee-dependent, grace saved, cynical idealist learning fluency in her native tongue, the language of hope. My pen is my weapon of choice to fight off the darkness when depression looms, it is my compass for navigating my messy mind, my even messier heart. Writing is my wilderness and my home. I write the reminders to find my way back to the heart of God. I write to feel God’s pleasure.

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