I have never in the 16 years we’ve been married wished we had cable. I’m not a huge tv person although I’ve been known to binge watch a show or two during my winter hibernation. I’m looking at you, Gilmore Girls. I’m generally satisfied with reruns and streaming a week later or whenever shows come out. I have the attention span of a gerbil when it comes to television.
But I watched twitter explode last night, converged on the hashtag #FreshOfftheBoat about ABC network’s primetime show of the same name. I should be more specific. I watched the Asian American community tweeting. The show centers around 11-year-old Eddie Huang and his experiences moving from Chinatown in DC to a predominately white suburb in Florida. Think Wonder Years or Malcolm in the Middle with a Taiwanese kid.
It felt momentous and for the first time I wished I didn’t have to wait for Hulu to roll it out the next day. At first I tried to avoid tweets and spoilers but I finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised that the general consensus in the Asian American community was that ABC pulled it off. It’s not perfect but it’s good as Kathy Khang wrote.
I’ll admit I was VERY wary.
It’s been 20 years since a show highlighted an Asian American family.
I’ve seen Asian sidekicks before but this was different. This promised the centering would be on the Huang’s experiences. Hopefully the stereotypical roles assigned that either try to neuter any cultural references or pack them so full of racially-sensitive-colorblind-feel-good moments you feel like you’re watching an after school special on how to all just get along wouldn’t be present. I hoped the Huangs wouldn’t end up being a ridiculous caricature instead of characters with multidimensional aspects including but not limited to race.
Today, we put off our homeschool lessons and gathered around our television. I laughed out loud during several parts, was touched by others, and felt myself reminiscing my 90’s childhood. The music!
My mom and I passed knowing glances when Eddie demands “white people food,” so he wouldn’t get teased. She shared about some of her tiger mom experiences and my kids launched into a discussion of Spam and kim chee.
I flinched when Eddie is called a “chink” and was actually surprised they went there on network television. My daughter asked me what that meant and I told her about the times I was called that, what it meant, how it hurt. She says, but you’re not even Chinese. I’m not, I’m Japanese-Korean and Caucasian, but that didn’t stop people from calling me gook or chink or ching chong China girl.
But that’s the thing about the prejudices we hold, the ideas we form, the racism that separates us. We don’t see past any of that.
Even though my mom wasn’t an immigrant and was born in Hawaii, she’s still been congratulated on her english in the mainland. I’ve been asked where I’m really from. I’ve been asked if my son was really mine because he has his daddy’s blue eyes and blonde hair. I’ve been mistaken for the nanny.
I am glad my daughter didn’t know what that word meant. I think it’s funny that all the posh kid’s stores sell bento boxes and Costco carries seaweed and kim chee, although my son and I joke that it’s white people’s Kim chee and still opt for a trip to the Asian market in Portland. I think it’s funny to find hipsters munching on it with their cold brew coffee and I remember when I was so embarrassed as a child when my mom would make kim chee soup and stink up our house because my white friends might not let me belong.
I think we’re making progress but 20 years is a long time. While I was watching Friends throughout my late teens and early 20’s, there were almost no people of color and it was supposed to be set in Manhattan! I love Parenthood’s writing but for a show set in Berkeley and the Bay Area it was shockingly homogenous. Come on Bravermans, really?
It means something to see people that represent even a small part of my heritage, my culture, my experiences, my story.
It’s not everything. I had a white father. I did not have a tiger mom. We don’t speak Korean or Japanese. When I am around Koreans who’ve immigrated there are experiences I do not relate to personally. But that’s ok. We don’t all have to be the same to appreciate another culture, but we can’t ignore it either.
This show isn’t the entirety of my experiences and I can guarantee it’s not the entirety of anyone else’s either. It’s not supposed to be. What other show is the entirety of anyone’s experience? But it’s a glimpse and a hope. It’s a hope that these stories matter too. That white America isn’t the only America. That someday an Asian American will take home an Oscar for a stunning role. That 90% of the books reviewed by the New York Times won’t be written by Caucasian authors. That the church would start to look like the world it’s supposed to be reaching. That Christian women’s blogging wouldn’t keep up with the status quo, that we’d set a wider table. Because we’re out here. We’ve got stories to tell. Not the final chapter but a page in the anthology, or a show on at primetime.
When it was done, my mom said, “I wonder if it’ll get canceled? I don’t know if it’ll appeal to people who are white.” And I had to wonder. Will it? Will they think it’s funny? Or will they find they struggle to relate to the characters because they’re not centered? If they do, they might just have a taste of what the last 20 years have been like for the rest of non-white America.
I’d love to hear your thoughts? Did you watch?
I have so much more to say but I have to get back to homeschooling my kids. I know they wished there were more episodes so we could take the whole morning off. Talk to me.
P.S. I’m always open to discussion but I will delete you if you’re a hater, a troll, or just a plain old jerk because this is my space and I’m the boss of me and I don’t take that crap anymore. Thank you kindly.
I saw a commercial and thought it looked good, but was afraid it would be so full of stereotypes and cheap punchlines. Now, can we move past the backwoods, ignorant, mouth-breathing Appalachians? (Thank you Tina Fey and 30 Rock for that last little gem.)
I think they did a good job of making points that were relatable and true about what many Asian Americans face on a daily basis and also about some cultural things that others might not understand. But I also think some of the issues about belonging and peer pressure and our love for our families are universal whether your mom packed you “stinky ethnic food” or you didn’t get the brand named jeans so there’s a level of humanity that I hope others relate to without making it a pedantic life lessons show. I felt like they were more than one dimensional characters. I’m interested to know what you think if you watch it.
we watched it. Laughed at some. My mouth dropped at the name calling. Saddens me that they are trying to ‘be white’ when I wish I had more culture in my family. British mother, American Indian/Polish father. What is so great about America and white people that others would want to be like us? Then I hear words like “white privlege” and am clueless as to why it’s called that. Did white people put themselves there? Keep and embrace your cultures.
Honestly Katey, I get what you’re saying but the truth is when it comes to white privilege , white people did put themselves there. They put themselves there through colonizing weaker people groups and taking their lands and then later through Manifest Destiny and the belief that they could claim land they weren’t entitled to while displacing, murdering, and oppressing indigenous people groups. They put themselves there with 245 years of slavery, owning and using people like animals. They put themselves there with Jim Crowe laws, lynching, restrictive and oppressive government that kept cultures separate and unequal. They put themselves there with internment camps for the Japanese, land rites laws for Chinese immigrants, a denial of equal protection under the law, and voter restrictions.They put themselves there through mass incarceration, inequity in the school systems, and unfair racial profiling. They put themselves there by a history of power and colonizing and racism.
So yeah, they did put themselves there. And when we study History, that is the reality we live with.
However, as Christians who long for diversity and believe everyone is created in God’s image, we have work to do to reverse that. To bring things back to shalom as God intended which includes but is not limited to embracing cultures and pursuing equality and reconciliation between races. That takes a lot more than a tv show obviously but I know that part of wanting to assimilate into white culture is that when you grow up a minority and the majority predominant and powerful culture is white, you tend to want to belong or at least be treated equally.
Even in the show Eddie says he wants a seat at the table so he can change the game. There’s a lot of truth to that. This is a teeny tiny small step toward a seat at the table.
I don’t have cable either, or network TV so I hadn’t heard of this show. The time I spent living outside of this country made my life much richer and I wish there were more of an appreciation for different cultures, languages, customs. It is encouraging to hear that there are shows attempting to break into our white closed-in mindset and be a good influence on our culture. I will have to find it on Hulu!
Let me know what you think.
We just watched. My husband and I are white, as are our kids, but my husband’s brother was adopted from Korea, so our extended family is more diverse. Still, we can’t possibly understand a fuller experience of being Asian American. But we loved the show and laughed and enjoyed it, and all of us want to watch it again. It was good to read your perspective and real-life experiences too. Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks Tamara. I watched it again with my husband, who is white, and he was laughing at all the 90’s references and the jokes. He obviously didn’t grow up with the same experiences as I did but he thought it was funny and so I’m hoping it will continue to connect with people and maybe open doors to see much more diversity in entertainment… and elsewhere. Thanks for reading!
Did not get the chance to watch the show but after reading your take on the show I think I will.
Oh…I love your
P.S. Especially the part where you say ” I am the boss of me” and “I don’t take that crap anymore’ love it!
People can be really lame with the bravado and anonymity a computer screen provides. I used to try to engage sometimes but now I know, don’t feed the trolls. 😉 I’m glad you’re going to give it a shot.
I haven’t watched it yet, but I read this article (http://www.vulture.com/2015/01/eddie-huang-fresh-off-the-boat-abc.html) and was sad. I want to watch it to support the Asian-American actors, but I’m nervous to see how they’ll pull it off. No matter how long it’s been since I’ve last been made fun of, I’m still sensitive towards comments that might seem even a bit racist. I’m trying to have a better reaction to it rather than being angry and hurt by it, but it’s a process. Also, you are one of the few Asian-American bloggers that I know, and I’m wondering if there’s a bunch of us out there that I don’t know of yet…
I don’t know that you need a better reaction than being angry and hurt. Those are normal emotions that we all experience because racism is sin and sin tears apart people and souls and lives. So don’t feel bad if it hurts or you get angry. I think God gets pretty flamed about it too. 😉
I’ve had this conversation a few times with other people in other places so I’m cutting and pasting some of my reply but these are some of my thoughts so far.
I have read a bunch of articles on it leading up to it and continuing now that it’s aired. I have read others including the Vulture one where he discusses his issues with how they’ve tried to sanitize it. Oh I have SO much to say about this. But some white people get mad when I talk about race. I’ve already had 8 unsubscribes since I posted it yesterday. I find a lot of my readers like it when I talk about motherhood or body image or even depression but when I talk about race, they get squirmy. OR worse, they get angry and tell me I should stop making things about race. ALWAYS said by white people.
So yeah. You can imagine the obstacles that would come if the show was harder hitting and more honest. Already the most vocal opponents of this have been primarily non Asians saying it’s racist against white people or saying Asians can’t define their own experiences and decide what they relate to and what they don’t. So pushing the realities of racism further into the public eye would be a whole other thing. I don’t think any network wants to go there, at least not yet. And so as much as it sucks that there has to be baby steps in 2015, in many ways AsAm people are not seen as fully American no matter how long they’ve lived here. Their looks always make them seem foreign.
I know there will be more criticisms and some of them are valid. Like I said, it’s not perfect. But then again, white television isn’t either but then they’ve got almost every show to pick from so the standard doesn’t have to carry the weight of a whole communities expectations and hopes. If it were more common to see other ethnic groups featured predominantly I don’t think we’d even be having these conversations. Because one show wouldn’t be THE one to represent for us all. Still, even though it’s not perfect, it was pretty great from my perspective. Even if it was just because the next step might open the door a little wider for the rest of us. Those are some of my thoughts.
As for AsAm bloggers. We’re not the only ones! But there are very few published, speaking, and at conferences that are not journalists or in full time ministry. Are you on twitter? There’s an AsAm and Asian Canadian list of women bloggers that April Yamasaki put together. They’re quite a diverse group. I think there are a few others that blog internationally that might not be on that list that I could add, but yes you and I aren’t the only ones! If you’re not on twitter, let me know and I can send you a list to connect with.
Also, if you end up watching it, I’d love to know what you think. Good or bad.
Now I will have to watch it for sure. I was so, so happy to see that they talked about race and reconciliation at the IF:gathering, and I’m excited that they have a resource out that will facilitate these conversations!
I am on Twitter but not really present there. It would be awesome if you could send over that list via email- grace.p.cho@gmail.com.
Also, this just made me want to have coffee with you and just talk on forever about this!
I’ve been on the fence with the show so far. While my skin is white, my father was dark, so I have huge disdain for racism of any kind. I have to admit that part my fence sitting on the show is because, after years (decades?) of having the practice of being “politically correct” drummed into our culture, I’m on PC overload whenever any culturally- or ethnically-based sitcom airs. I did find moments very funny, but I not because I related to the Asian culture, but because I can relate in a very human, very parental, way to some of the characters. That said, while I understand what you’re saying regarding PARENTHOOD (and maybe even FRIENDS, though it was for a younger audience than I was at the time), I really enjoyed the show. Mainly because the writing was excellent and it delved into understanding the complex and complicated nature of relationship — and relationship happens much the same in every culture. We either invest in our relationships or we do not. I do think though that your overview of FRESH OFF THE BOAT is one of the better, more well-rounded, ones I’ve read so far.
Thanks Robin, I think there were a lot of those relatable moments with the family and how they interacted too. I’m glad you watched.
As for Parenthood, I agree and watched that show like a fangirl. I thought most of the writing was exceptional in the way it addressed family love and commitment and relationship. Again, all relatable themes and very well executed in my opinion.
But they also weren’t completely autonomous. They lived in a city. A city that boasts a much wider ethnic diversity than was ever seen on the show. Including all the peripheral characters. So while I know that it wasn’t specifically focused on ethnic diversity, there was still room for improvement. It’s an issue when covers are airbrushed to make models whiter, it’s an issue when #spot the Asian trends on twitter during the Oscars because it’s literally like a big foot sighting in it’s scarcity.
So I want us to do better and in those ways I felt Parenthood whitened things up a lot. That’s me talking about a show I love. And while I love it, I think there’s room for criticism. I feel the same with Fresh Off the Boat.
All I’m saying is, it’s time. It’s time to see that same good writing and character develop focused on more than caucasians or the occasional African Americans.
And I loved what you said, “We either invest in relationships or we do not.” YES! I want a show where people will invest in the characters and root for them, believe in them, relate to them. And up until now, Asian Americans have been ridiculously absent in that offering because the roles just aren’t there.
I’ve seen the previews and I’d like to watch the pilot but I need to do that at a time when my Chinese-born daughter isn’t around. I’d like to pre-screen it before she gets a look, just in case she has questions and I need answers. Your positive review eases my apprehension though, because I trust your opinion. 🙂 She’s never talked about anyone teasing her or calling her a chink, but I think I might have to be physically restrained if someone did.
Yes, I think that’s usually wise with most shows. And if you watch on Hulu there are some icky commercials as well. Blech. I’m glad she hasn’t had people tease her about that. My daughter hasn’t much either. Mostly innocent kid kind of questions that she answered honestly and didn’t bat an eye. My sons don’t look Asian so it’s interesting to see how things are for them. And I agree, that mama heart is fierce.
I punched the kid, the one who would chant ching chong China girl and pull his eyes every time I walked by. I walked right up to him and punched him as hard as I could right in the stomach and he threw up Vanilla wafers. I still remember it as one of my most vivid childhood memories.
The insults have gotten less obvious over the years and I don’t always know which is worse. At least the obvious stuff is easy to address. In my case, punch em. 😉 For me, it’s the well meaning oblivious ones that tend to scar.
Looks like it’s still on hulu plus, so we’ll have to wait til next week to watch. I love your writing on a lot of subjects, Alia, but I’m always especially glad when I read or hear your thoughts on race. Looking forward to watching & learning. Love you, friend.