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Alia Joy

a student of grace, seeking wonder, becoming fluent in the language of hope

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Depression

A Mind On Fire: A SheLoves Post

June 8, 2016 By Alia Joy

My life is one long rerouting. Only I’ve not had the pleasure of Google Maps patiently telling me that I’ve taken a wrong turn and that it’s calculating the next best option to get me to my destination. Instead, I’ve lived one-way streets and stop signs, merging into single lanes and tight spaces. My life has been roadblocks and potholes and miles out of my way with no rest stop in sight. I type the address into my phone to get to her office. Google Maps turns me this way and that and I …

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Filed Under: Depression, Mental Illness, Story, Suffering Tagged With: bipolar, Creativity, depression, hurt, story

Alone in the World: A SheLoves Post

May 11, 2016 By Alia Joy

The answering machine clicks on after the fourth ring. I untuck my feet from beneath me and rise from the couch. I’m pacing back and forth, my bare feet grazing the cool hard wood floor. The ground is steady, it is me that is shaking. I realize I am holding my breath waiting for a voice on the other end. I remember the anticipation I had as a girl, mustering the courage to call the cute boy. I’d wait until the kitchen was clear and I’d pull the phone from the wall and stretch the ringlets of …

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Filed Under: Depression, Mental Illness, Suffering Tagged With: Faith, God, hurt, story

You’re Good Enough Part 3

March 9, 2016 By Alia Joy

This post is part of a series telling a longer story. You can find yesterday’s post I Am From White Also, But Not Only here and Standing at the Margins: I Don't Belong here.  It makes more sense if you read them in order but I get that you probably also have a life and may not have the time to read 4,000+ words. Carry on. I. If you know where you’re going, you might not always know how you’re going to get there, but you’ll know when you’ve arrived. The biggest battle to get words to the page …

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Filed Under: Depression, Mental Illness, Story, Suffering, Writing Tagged With: bipolar, comparison, God, hurt, self image, story

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Welcome

Hi, I’m Alia Joy

INFJ and Enneagram 4w5…so it’s complicated. Wife and mom, coffee-dependent, grace saved, cynical idealist learning fluency in her native tongue, the language of hope. My pen is my weapon of choice to fight off the darkness when depression looms, it is my compass for navigating my messy mind, my even messier heart. Writing is my wilderness and my home. I write the reminders to find my way back to the heart of God. I write to feel God’s pleasure.

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