In the last few weeks my heart has taken to skipping beats again. The lub dub lub dub that pounds faithfully hour after hour now has a new rhythm. Like a jump start, a thick thud lands in my chest, sometimes making me cough like someone has thumped their first against my sternum.
I had tests done a couple years ago when this first started happening. Blood work, EKG’s and doctors visits, a specialist and an echocardiogram. They pressed the ultrasound against my chest and watched this fist sized muscle fill and contract and pump necessary blood through my veins while the tiny spikes hopped and dipped with one notable skip where the needle would skitter dramatically every few beats.
And in the end the cardiologist said, it is psychosomatic, resulting from anxiety and stress. We see strips like this from people suffering PTSD, he told me calmly after he had looked at my chart and saw the year of sickness and surgeries and stress. I made another appointment with my psychiatrist.